Have the Happiest Year of Your Life Part Two:
The Power of Social Contacts to Bring Happiness

Thank you so much for joining  Dr. Nancy and her colleagues and friends for How To Have The Happiest Year of Your Life, a series based on research about happiness and how to create more for yourself and others, and maybe even the world!

My intention today is to discuss how social connections bring happiness and how to know how much is enough and how much is too much.  I have invited two of my colleagues to talk about the power of social contacts to create happiness because it is one of the top ways discovered in the research to bump up your joy!

A lifelong intention to get as much helpful information to the public as possible has brought me, over and over, to publishing in print and appearing on radio and television. As I spoke on the evening news in January about the challenges of the Haitian orphans, I wondered if they would  be able to attach to their new parents enough to lead better lives. While hoping that they would succeed, I was reminded that when we are born we attach to mothers who touch, talk, laugh and play with their children in a bonding ritual. This leads to feelings of security that last for a lifetime.  Research has shown that children and even monkeys who do not have that experience often become depressed and ineffectual. I knew that they would need a lot of love and support from the new people in their lives to compensate for what had been lost.

In interviews about happiness levels of people, those with the most social contacts reported feeling better than 90% of the other participants in the study (Seligman positive psychology attribution).  Further he reports that the research finds that happy people have casual friends, close friends, often have romantic partners and belong to more groups. 

In my work as a psychologist, I have noticed that an ability to see others’ points of view may contribute largely to our ability to sustain our connections to others and manage the conflict that may arise in a long-term relationship.  Blocks to such ability to manage these conflicts may arise with simple things, such as who is taking the carpool this week, or larger things such as philosophical differences.  While not taking your turn in the carpool may strain your friendship greatly, it is often the philosophical differences that can break them. When we disagree about fundamental life points of view, such as politics, religion and boundaries in relationships, the tendencies to differ become greater. I asked myself, "Is it possible for us to put differences aside in the interest of the friendship?"

The question brought me to the RXTV portion of today's message! The answer came to me while watching Desperate Housewives.  I observed that the show’s message was that even when people are feuding, a community crisis brings them together and makes the differences seem smaller and less important. I invite you, as you reader, to notice your reaction to what I just said.  If you are a fan of Desperate Housewives, you may have agreed, if not you may have had an averse reaction and if you don't watch, you may have no reaction at all. Whether or not you have considered that valuable life lessons are a part of prime time TV, and  whatever your point of view, you can see that it is a personal perception, not an absolute truth, since there were three or more possible reactions to my observation.  The answer to my question seemed to be that if we remember that we can have different opinions or perceptions and still accomplish a goal, we are more likely to succeed.

On a larger scale, the Haitian crisis reminded us that in the end, we are becoming more of a global community all the time. I watched the international broadcast raising money for Haiti after the earthquake and saw that the world was beginning to get on the same page with a communal goal.  It took a disaster for the world to agree that the Haitians deserved our attention and support now and not later, but I believe that there was more world community at that time than at many times in history. As we look at the wave of the future, our ability to get along in the world with others, manage conflicts large and small, and to establish compassionate relationships with others may be at the root of our survival.

Two of the challenges to living this type of life immediately present themselves. While nurturing relationships is one of the most important parts of life, I find many people challenged to fit it into an already crowded schedule. The first challenge is: How do you keep the effort required to maintain those relationships from depleting your energy for the other things that bring purpose to your life? Jennifer Antkowiak, KDKA anchorwoman and author joins us today to share her wisdom about achieving this balance.

Second, Accomplishing this level of happiness may be a challenge for those with limited opportunities or those with an introverted nature, I have invited my colleague Neal Griebling, owner of Future Design Studios to talk with you today about it.

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• Introduction
• Dr Nancy's RxTV
• To Find Happiness, Going it Alone is Not the Way to Go!
• Happiness and Fulfillment through Social Contacts for Both the Introvert and the Extrovert
• List of Resources
• Coming Events
• Sign Up Now for the Happiness E-Zine